Stacy's Song

Annnnnnnd I'm back. It's only been what...5...6 months since I last posted? I think that's about par for the course (that's a golf term...i do golf now). Ok...I have this friend that I've known since elementary school, she's basically a lifer...(Lifer...ligh-fer: It's a noun.) You know...a friend for life type of gal. So..this friend...let's call her Stacy...because that's her name...happens to be one of the greatest sources of my entertainment...EVER...and I don't mean that in a dirty way. I'll be writing more about Stacy in the future...but let me get to where I'm going with this.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in yet another conference listening intently to the various ways in which we as Americans/lawyers/grown-ups/DHS workers/people/animal lovers/health care workers/etc/ASAP/MYOB/BYOB/did i mention animal lovers/everyone else, can make the world a better place.... when I received a tweet (just google it, it's kind of like a text message) from Stacy about Twilight. Yes. Twilight. The Twilight. The teenage sparkly Mormon vampire Twilight. I like it. Stacy likes it. We're 29 (NOT 30!) years old. We're ok with it. You be ok with it. ANYWHO...so I jokingly respond to Stacy asking if she could please transcribe the first Twilight novel via Twitter so that I could read it and not have to listen to anymore world improving stuff... (By the way...if you're not familiar with the series, you will probably find zero humor in the rest of the post, so just do me a favor and stop reading now.)

Ok...I think here is where I have to explain what Twitter is (even though you really should have googled it by now). So Twitter is kind of a combination of text messaging and social networking. Basically you can post status updates (i.e. tell people what you're doing) via your cell or computer and those updates are sent out to the cell phones or computers of whomever is following you on twitter. These updates are called "Tweets." The catch is that you can only use 140 characters at a time.

wow...this post is becoming a major beating...just hang with me...the payoff is worth it, I swear...

Ok...So I asked Stacy to transcribe Twilight via Twitter...ha ha ha...look at me, I'm being a smartass and not paying attention in my conference...AND THAT IS HOW IT STARTED...

Ladies and Gentlemen....may I present to you in 140 character increments:

"Twitter Twilight"
By Stacy...An Admitted Fangirl

Chapter One. Hi, my name's Bella and I live in Phoenix. I know, I know. But it's a DRY heat.

I babysat my mom for 17 yrs, but she married Phil, a minor-league baseballer. He can take over. Should qualify for WIC on his $21k a year.

Moving to Forks, WA to live w/my dad. He's police chief, but his porn stache makes me wonder if he has something going on on the side

Chapter Two. I met a new guy in school today. Hawt. Paler than me! Brings new meaning to the phrase "white on rice." Hint: I'm the rice.

Gah. Edward hates me. I stink. Does angst have a scent? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I rolled in some apathy this morning.Smells like Teen Spirit.

O happy day. Eddie's back. He showed me how he sparkles. Note to self: Buy sequined bodysuit.

Bedward and I are in lurv. Squee. I'm like a drug to him. Insert inappropriate reference to mainlining HERE.

WTF? Caught Edward in my room last night. Kinda cool in a creepy stalker way, but I hope I didn't fart in my sleep.

Edward's taking me on a date. Vampire baseball. Snicker. Maybe now I can get him past first base.

Running for life. Have fallen down approximately 231 times.

Meeting James at ballet studio. Dying in place of someone I love. Cue melodramatic music.

Perils Edward has saved me from: truck, skeezy guys, & vamp bite (3). Perils I'd like to save E from: eternal virginity (1). Bella, ftw!

Edward threatened to leave me for my own good. Not sure what's more embarrasing - my ensuing seizure or my crippling codependence.

What to wear to prom? I KNOW! Leggings from 1985! & my grandma's sweater! AND CHUCK TAYLORS! Surely he'll want to rip THESE clothes off me!

Shiz. Edward won't kill me and it's killing me. Maybe if I make him jealous . . . Hey, Jacob, fetch me a bone, k?

The End. Unlike poor frustrated Bella, I'm tapped out.

Totally worth the muddled post, right?

watching the world go round and round.

I'm stuck in a conference today. Since starting my job in healthcare/law I've been subjected to more conferences, meetings, group updates, etc than I care to count. While the content of these conferences is usually super boring (but sometimes helpful) I've decided that the opportunity to people watch more than makes up for the boredom.

Observations from today...

Two ladies sitting in front of me decided to wear matching chambray denim shirts unbuttoned, with red t-shirts underneath. Why would you plan that? (And now one of them is sucking on a grape laffy taffy)

Guy sitting four rows in front of me decided it was necessary to secure his ponytail with 6 rubberbands.I'm sure you're shocked to learn that he's balding on top.

Fake Coach purse 3 seats down.

Man with an eyepatch. I wonder if it's real or just for dress-up? Think he knows Johnny Depp?

Ladies and Gentlemen we have a 50 year old (give or take a few barfly riddened years) with long blonde hair extensions (I can see the clips)! Her outfit is great too, spandex/cotten blend trouser pants, studded belt, muffin tops and underwear hanging out (grateful it's not a thong) white (unintentional) midriff baring shirt, and a glittery tweed jacket. AWESOME. (Update...just saw pack of marlboro reds in jacket pocket...classy lady!) (did I spell marlboro right?)

Would refuse to wear my obligatory nametag except that they keep giving me the court clerk material and showing me to the court clerk conference.

How in the world am I supposed to respond to "you don't look like a judge?"

Girl to my right is actually dressed kind of cute. I like her cardigan. Just found out she grew up in Idabel. Cool.

One of the denim duo just won an avon doorprize. Score. Why am I at a place where they're giving away avon doorprizes?...and why didn't I get a ticket?

Just got stared down by a bunhead. I think she knows I'm not wearing a slip.

You're Hot Then You're Cold

Does anyone else have the hardest time EVER figuring out how to work the faucet in a shower/bathtub that isn't your own? Especially if it takes the hot water FOREVER to come on?? I swear I can stand there for 10 minutes waiting for the hot water to come on before I realize that I NEVER TURNED THE HOT WATER ON. Sometimes technology is just miserable.

NOTE: I'm in a hotel with a very confusing faucet system. So you know, it's not a COMPLETELY random thought.

I'm a Baller...Shot Caller...(i'm such a cracker)

March Madness Ya'll! Ok, so i filled out a bracket this year, just to see how I would do...and then I started to worry..what if I'm some sort of NCAA basketball savant and I get every game right? Who will believe me if I don't show my bracket to someone? They'll think I just filled it out as the tournament progressed! WHAT IF I'M BRILLIANT AND NO ONE BELIEVES ME? Of course, by posting this I've ruined any chances of that ever happening. If I would have just kept it to myself I could be secretly brilliant and would have to learn a lesson in humility.
But yeah...i'm posting it here...sort of, I don't have a scanner to scan it in...so i'm just going to make a giant list...FUN!

So herrrrrre you go...

Right Side of Bracket

First Round Winners:
Pitt
Ok State
Florida
Xavier
Texas
Duke
North Carolina
Butler
Illinois
Gonzaga
Arizona St
Syracuse
Clemson
Oklahoma

2nd Round Right Side of Bracket Winners:
OK State
Xavier
Villanova
Texas
North Carolina
Illinois
Arizona St
Clemson

Regional Semi Winners:
Okstate
Villanova
North Carolina
Clemson

Final Four:
Ok State
Clemson

National Championship:
OK State!

ANNNND The Left Side

First Round Winners:
Louisville
Ohio
Arizona
Wake
Dayton
Kansas
Boston College
Michigan
UCONN
A&M
Purdue
Washington
Marquette
Mossouri
Maryland
Memphis

Round Two Winners:
Louisville
Arizona
Kansas
Michigan
UCONN
Washington
Mossouri
Memphis

Regional Semi Winners
Louisville
Kansas
UCONN
Memphis

Final Four:
Louisville
UCONN

National Championship
Louisville

NATIONAL CHAMPION
Oklahoma State!!! (I'm sure you are all shocked by this pick)

Kids, I tell you what...I littered today and IT FELT GOOD! I rebelled ya'll. I took the fast food sack that was overpowering my new car smell and threw that crap out the window...(after i ate my Mighty Kids Meal of course...i don't want to be trashy AND wasteful all in one day). I'm normally not a proponent of littering, i think it's lazy and rude and disrespectful...but today, i just said to hell with it. I was lazy. I was rude. I was disrespectful. And I took joy in every second of it. I'm not sure what came over me...(probably the aforementioned grease smell from the hormone laced feux meat hamburger that was penetrating my nostrils and working its way to my seats and carpet)...I actually considered pulling over at a gas station and tossing the bag in a trash can...and then I realized that i live in The County...and I was 10 miles from the nearest gas station...and if I waited 10 miles my new car smell WOULD BE GONE FOREVER...So i did it. I DID IT. You know the process...check mirror for other cars...check to make sure you're not in front of a house...crack window barely enough for trash to make it out...check mirror again...lift bag to window...begin to toss...PULL IT BACK IN BECAUSE A CAR IS COMING!!!...wait for car to pass...check mirror to make sure car is out of sight...count to three 1..2..3..deep breath...annnnnnnd IT'S OUTTA HERE! I swear I nearly yelped at the thrill of it all as I watched that paper bag float to the ground. I cranked my radio up and rocked out to John Mellencamp and Little Pink Houses....and enjoyed the rest of my ride. It was damn near blissful.

So I apologize Mr. Crying Indian...On this day, I did not do my part to Keep America Beautiful...well...i take that back..have you seen my shoes? They're definitely beautiful...They're ostrich...and that's an American bird..and I'm an American...and I wore them IN America...so maybe I did do my part, Sir...maybe I did.

Unce, Tice, Fee, Times a Mady

I tell you what, Kari and I are really putting 110% into this blogging thing....

Seriously, this blogging business has only served to confirm that I have no life. So here's another easy escape from Lent challenge 2009. And go Cowboys...beat MO.

Three Names I go by:
1. Jahni
2. JT
3. Miss Tapley...if you're nasty

Three jobs I have had in my life
1. Telemarketer (I was awesome, I always removed old people from my call list...and kept recalling people who were jerks)
2. Pizza slinger at Pappy's Pizza
3. Risk ELIMINATOR

Three Places I have lived
1. Valliant
2. Poteau
3. Stillwater

Three shows that I watch
1. The Office
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Gilmore Girls...back off haters

Three places I have been
1. Ciundad Acuna..i.e. nasty little border town near Del Rio, TX
2. On top of the world's highest hill
3. Stuck in a back bowl on Vail Mountain...thank you Andy for not killing me...you could have buried me in the snow and left me 'til a good Spring thaw...

Three people that e-mail me regularly
lately?
1. Clint
2. Stacy
3. Saks...like Kari, they're one of my best pals

Three of my favorite foods
1. Any seafood from the Gulf Coast...except crab cakes
2. Turkey Sandwhich
3. Cake

Three things I'm looking forward to
1. The Beach (soon...very very soon)
2. Jimmy Buffett in April
3. Being Warm...my nose is cold.

Ride 'Em Cowboys!

Oklahoma State 71 - Oklahoma 70

I love seeing ou lose almost as much as I love seeing OSU win...and when it happens at the same time....well...it's like a good crack high. Minus all the bad stuff.

Go Pokes Go Pokes Go Pokes Go!